Frank McNair

Frank McNair


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Photo: Library at Columbia Theological Seminary
Photo Credit: CTS Staff

A Long and Winding Road

I know of no time in my life before God.  My whole life has been a dance with God--sometimes slow and intimate, sometimes fast and frantic. There are times when my partner has been miles away from me and times (a very few times) when we have been fused so tightly that it was hard to tell which of us was which. I have oft-times been mad at God--for stepping on my toes perhaps. But I have rarely quit the dance... 

I was formed in the loving environment of a small-town church--a church that my parents and my paternal grandparents both worshipped in and served. The church offered all the usual things: Sunday School and Vacation Bible School and Youth Group and Choir. At one time or another, I did most of them. 

This God-stuff was serious to me (folks in my family sometimes say I "think too much") and I took it seriously. 

After college and graduate school I began my work life and my formal duties in the church. I was elected a leader in the church, taught Sunday School, and tried to serve as best I could while chugging along through life. 

After a decade or so in the work world, I left corporate life to begin a new life as a trainer and consultant. I also began a new chapter in my spiritual life. I volunteered to serve fulltime--with no salary--running a capital campaign for a faith-based non-profit. This time in my life was like a monastic novitiate, and it changed my life. 

I entered spiritual direction and--after some years of discernment--began to train as a spiritual director myself. I attended seminary and completed a certificate program in spiritual direction. I fell in love with liturgy and embraced liturgical worship and the life of sacraments. 

All this is details, though. What counts is the dance. 

I still dance with the One who made me, knows me, loves me and wills only good for my life. Sometimes I dance far, sometimes I dance near. And always I yearn to be subsumed into God or, as Saint Aelred said, into "that--beyond which--there is no other."

I long for the day when I can dance into the arms of God forever--and into the  presence of One who loves me wholly and Holy, always and in all ways.



2006- 2009 Frank McNair

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